


Shigeru the Corgi Merdog

by Stylin_Breeze



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Car Accidents, Comedy, Corgis, Digestive Issues, Dog Urine, Dogs, Gen, Halloween, Humor, Mermaids, Mutation, Next Generation Captains (Haikyuu!!), Supernatural - Freeform, Witches, almost, house repair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:44:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylin_Breeze/pseuds/Stylin_Breeze
Summary: Shigeru Yahaba, waking one day to find he had become a cross between a corgi and a mermaid.Kenjirou Shirabu, who would do anything to own a dog.When these two meet on Halloween afternoon, Kenjirou’s evening plans are summarily derailed.





	Shigeru the Corgi Merdog

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Crows_Imagine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crows_Imagine/gifts).



> A gift for @Crows_Imagine, who never stopped encouraging me to move forward with this crazy premise. :) Also, my contribution to Next Gen Captain Halloween 2018!
> 
> (And, yes, this fic includes a 6-year-old girl that likes Yowapeda. Don't take this story too seriously.)

Kenjirou Shirabu had always wanted a dog. His dad didn’t seem to care, but for whatever reason, his mom was always firmly against it. She insisted Kenjirou wouldn’t take care of it and entertained the idea no further. Even as a teenager coming up on his last year of high school, he still wanted so desperately to have a furry little friend.

Then, while walking along the beachside road on his way to the convenience store to get more supplies for the evening’s Halloween party, he saw it. A small corgi with light brown hair was ambling across the sand. Its rear end appeared encased in some kind of container that quite amusingly looked exactly like a mermaid tail. The animal was undoubtedly in trouble, and Shirabu immediately resolved to assist the helpless beast.

Sneaking up behind, he nabbed the peculiarly nonchalant animal and began ferrying it home. Strangely the corgi seemed to have no trouble walking prior to its capture, and now Shirabu could see why: its hind feet protruded from the oddly slimy encasement on its exterior. After he wrangled the dog, the animal squirmed and barked violently, but Kenjirou flipped it onto its back in his arms and ran home. He didn’t have a plan as far as how he’d extricate the poor canine from its predicament; he only figured he’d be able to find a tool in the house to pry or saw off the mermaid-like appendage. His parents were out of town, so they’d never know. Part of him hoped that if he saved the animal, it would love him unconditionally, and then his parents would have no choice but to let him keep it.

The animal seemed to calm down once it was able to see Shirabu’s face. Most amusingly (though he’d never mention his impression to anyone), Kenjirou swore the animal’s face reminded him of his friend Shigeru Yahaba.

Once in the front room of his two-story home, Kenjirou set the corgi down. The animal quizzically scanned the space before turning a dry gaze at its abductor, almost as if to say it was unimpressed. Again Shirabu found the dog’s attitude quite like Seijoh’s impending captain, and the similarities now slightly annoyed him. Perhaps ironically, Yahaba had declined to come to Shirabu’s Halloween party tonight because he was busy.

“Um, just wait here, and I’ll find something to get you out of that thing,” Kenjirou nervously told the dog. The animal stared back like it was confused by Shirabu’s statement.

Once Shirabu was in the garage, Shigeru Yahaba took stock of his situation. He’d woken up that morning in a condition straight out of a light novel: he was suddenly a corgi boasting a mermaid’s end. Before he could even process what was happening, severe dehydration and instinct drove him to the ocean. Several hours later, he’d surfaced hoping to find something to eat and was quickly manhandled by none other than his friend Kenjirou.

This was the first time he’d been inside the Shirabu household—even though he couldn’t break the feeling that he had somehow been in this neighborhood before. Not in the mood for hanging out, he’d lied and said he had schoolwork in order to get out of the Halloween shindig for the next generation of volleyball captains.

Initially he believed there was no worse person to capture him, but after a while, he concluded staying here might not be a bad plan after all: he’d be cared for, have a roof over his head, and wouldn’t be in the presence of a total stranger. Kenjirou was also levelheaded—not as much as, say, Akaashi or Ennoshita, but levelheaded enough.

His estimation of Shirabu’s sanity changed when the boy reappeared holding a hacksaw.

“I wonder if this will do the trick,” Kenjirou mumbled aloud. Instantly the corgi darted upstairs. “Hey! Get back here, mutt!”

Soon realizing the stupidity in going upstairs where there was no exit, he found himself in a hallway with several doorways. Kenjirou gasped up the last step, and Shigeru immediately dashed into the room at the end of the hall. A moment later, he found himself trapped in the bathroom.

“Now I got you,” Kenjirou panted, blocking the entrance. Some canine instinct overcame Yahaba, and he squealed in fear against the side of the bathtub as Kenjirou loomed closer. “I’m trying to _save_ you. What’s wrong with you, you dumb animal?” Shirabu argued, pausing akimbo trying to figure out how to get around to the corgi’s behind. He suddenly recalled the frightful-looking weapon in his hands and realized that was the source of the canine’s distress. He placed the item outside and returned to the cornered corgi.

“Well, I didn’t try pulling it off,” Shirabu mulled and knelt down. Yahaba cocked a doggy eyebrow, deciphering Kenjirou’s statement, when the human boy clasped both hands around the thinnest part of his tail. Shigeru latched his front claws onto the shower curtain as Kenjirou yanked with all his might.

Kenjirou’s grasp slid off the scaly posterior, forcing Shirabu onto his buttocks, as Shigeru’s claws tore through the curtain. Yahaba then leapt on top of the toilet seat and onto the counter, yelling at his insane kidnapper. His attempts to speak human language came out as angry barks.

“Man, that thing’s stuck on there,” Shirabu griped.

“Woof woof!— _Of course it is!_ —Woof woof!”

Kenjirou righted himself and glared at the dog snarling back at him. He carefully inched his hand closer to the dog. Yahaba cautiously eyed the approaching fingers until they were beneath his chin. And then, he was overcome by the greatest soothing feeling he’d ever felt in his life. All his defenses dropped immediately amidst the euphoria from the rhythmic scratching underneath his jaw, and in that moment, Kenjirou ran his other hand over the fold separating the fur from the scaly, mermaid-like encasing.

Except there was no fold; it felt like a smooth transition from fluff to rough. Shirabu backed off. Perhaps the night of goblins and ghouls, vampires and witches had his brain going haywire, but he was nevertheless struck by the stunning fact.

“Oh my gosh! It’s _real_! You’re not a dog at all!”

“Woof!— _What did you think?!_ —Woof!”

Fear gripped Shirabu. One, he had taken some mutant mermaid-canine from its natural habitat, and who knows whether its vengeful brethren would come to rescue their comrade and eat Kenjirou alive?! Two, or assuming it was an escapee from a government lab, he’d be swarmed by every covert ops unit in Japan! And three, there was _no way_ he could let his parents find out about this dog now! _Nobody_ could know!

“So you’re a—a what? A _merdog_?”

“Woof,” Yahaba answered with a nod. Shirabu blinked, unsure if the animal actually understood him. Who knows? Maybe merdogs were actually intelligent beings.

Yahaba realized his new caretaker—if he were to get up to stuff—needed some help, but since his attempts to talk came out as barks and growls, he’d have to communicate in some other way. His scales itched from being out of water too long; and spotting the sink beside him, he flipped on the faucet with one paw and splatted his mer-tail beneath the stream of water. Kenjirou blinked.

“Woof,” Yahaba said, pointing one paw at the sink. He then aimed the same paw at the bathtub. “Woof.”

“You want me to run a bath for you?”

“Woof,” Shigeru nodded.

“Um, OK?” Kenjirou nervously said and flipped on the water. Shigeru adroitly hopped over to the side of the tub and, to Kenjirou’s surprise, stuck one paw under the stream of H2O for a few seconds. He then lifted his paw higher as if to say turn up the temperature. Shirabu turned the knob more, and Yahaba checked the temperature again, then moved his paw in a downward motion. Kenjirou adjusted the temperature down. Shigeru tested the water once more, and while there was initially no reaction from the animal, his paw eventually twitched upward slightly. One more slight turn up, and after his next check, Shigeru moved his paw horizontally with a firm bark to cease adjustment.

Once the tub was filled, Shigeru dived right in and zipped like a fish through the water. That removed any doubt in Kenjirou’s mind that he was in possession of a freak of nature. (If there was any consolation—and it wasn’t much—it was _his_ freak of nature.) After a while, Shigeru surfaced and folded both front paws on the rim of the tub, facing Kenjirou, his tail fully submerged.

“Um, do you want bubbles too?” Kenjirou shrugged.

“Woof woof!— _Do I look nine-years-old to you?!_ —Woof woof!” Shigeru barked angrily.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Kenjirou recoiled. He didn’t know what to think; having never had a dog before, he merely assumed this pickiness was normal dog behavior.

As far as Yahaba was concerned, as a candidate for caretaker (he would never stoop so low as to refer to anyone as his “owner”), Kenjirou was clearly not ideal, but he seemed to be catching on, and he figured he could groom the teen the way he wanted in no time. For a period that day, he’d thought he wanted to return to being a human, but the life of a corgi merdog—absent the pressures of school, future, and family—had a strong allure. He let himself sink happily into the warm bath at his perfect temperature.

Then the doorbell rocked the floor. Yahaba splashed to the surface.

“Dang it! They’re here, and I’m not ready!” Kenjirou moaned. He frowned at the beast, wanting to blame his not being in costume or having enough snacks on the creature, but it was pointless. He’d hate to admit it, but he’d probably make the same choice again if he could do it over.

“OK, you stay in here until the party’s over. I’ll be back in a few hours. Keep your trap shut,” Shirabu urged before closing the bathroom door tightly.

Supporting himself on the rim of the tub, Yahaba felt a strange yearning in his chest. He hopped out of the bath, dripping globs of water from his soaked fur and tail onto the linoleum floor, and pattered to the door. His ear to the wood, he could hear voices and laughter from downstairs.

It was the other captains, here for the party he’d chosen to skip.

And they were having _fun_.

Fun without _him_.

Much to his own surprise, now Yahaba regretted lying to get out of the occasion. He wished more than anything he could be downstairs with the others.

That meant he had to get a message out somehow. However, he couldn’t write anything in his condition. He scanned the room, looking for some other way to communicate. His eyes fell on the mirror behind the sink, and suddenly he had an idea. He leapt onto the side of the tub, latched onto the shower knob with both front paws, and turned it on full blast.

 

* * *

 

When Kenjirou opened the front door, he was immediately greeted by a pale blond vampire.

“Kenjirou!” Terushima cried melodramatically. “Where’s your costume?!”

Frankenstein sidled in next; it took a moment for Kenjirou to realize it was Futakuchi, who had insisted he wouldn’t come as anything. Instead his face was a grisly purplish gray, and his ragged drab clothes looked like they came from the bargain bin of a thrift store on closeout.

“You mean I went through _all this_ , and you’re not even dressed up?! This blows!” Kenji griped. Shirabu noticed a scrunched up, family-size KitKat bag in Futakuchi’s hand before his attention turned to the two boys holding up the rear. Chikara Ennoshita entered dressed as Napoleon Dynamite in a shirt reading “Vote for Pedro.” Keiji Akaashi appeared in a plain black T-shirt printed with “Error 404: Costume Not Found,” which instantly got Terushima’s attention.

“Haven’t you worn that before?”

Chikara looked too. “Yeah, I think you have,” he echoed. “Didn’t you have it when we went see to _Mean Girls_?”

“I don’t even remember,” Keiji blushed. He liked the shirt, so who cares? He peered at Shirabu. “You’re not changed yet?”

“I…ran out of time,” Kenjirou pouted. He recalled the candy bag in Futakuchi’s hand and remembered his own lack of supplies. “Kenji! You brought that candy from your mom’s, right?”

“Huh? Oh, I, uh, got hungry on the way. So I ate it.”

“You ate a whole bag of KitKats?” Chikara asked wide-eyed.

“Weren’t those the blueberry cheesecake ones?!” Terushima exclaimed with dread. “Those are limited edition!”

“I got hungry! Sue me!” Kenji spat. Yuuji appeared mightily disappointed and turned to the host.

“Hey, Kenjirou! What’s to eat?”

“There’s chips in the cupboard under the vase on the counter.” Yuuji zipped into the kitchen before Kenjirou could say anything else. “And don’t destroy my house, got it?!” Shirabu called futilely as Kenji lazily followed Yuuji.

“You realize inviting those two was the wrong idea if that’s the case?” Chikara quipped. “Oh. And by the way, what did you mean beware of the ‘witch’?”

“Oh, that,” Kenjirou shrugged after pondering what Ennoshita was talking about. “No, forget it. She’s just my next-door neighbor. The old bat used to steal toys that landed in her yard and chase us off her lawn with a broom when we were kids. Just don’t cross her path, or she’ll make life miserable.”

Chikara still looked confused, but the momentary quiet in the space clued him in to the sound of gushing water upstairs.

“Uh, Kenjirou, is someone else here?”

“No. Why?”

“Cos I think your shower’s on.”

Kenjirou noticed it as well and froze.

“Oh, um, yes! I, uh, I must have left it on. I-I’ll go fix that!” he chattered before sprinting upstairs.

 

A short while later, he flung open the upstairs bathroom door only to be assailed by a wave of escaping steam. Besides the burning hot water spraying into the tub, the merdog was on the counter, one paw on the fogged-up mirror.

“All right, you mutt. Back in the tub you go,” he declared. He physically picked up the animal, only for Shigeru to bark incessantly. “Hey, keep it down!” He tried grabbing the canine’s mouth to muzzle him, his fingers getting chomped instead. “Ouch!”

Yahaba leapt from Shirabu’s grasp onto the counter and barked firmly at the mirror.

“What is _wrong_ with you?!” He took a moment to glance at the glass and paused upon noticing streaks in the condensation created by the dog’s paws. Kenjirou squinted and began to read.

“I’m…Ya…ha… _ba_?!”

After a long pause, he looked at the animal that stared firmly back.

“This is some sick joke,” he growled. Yahaba snarled viciously, startling the teen. “Well, OK,” he continued skeptically. “If you’re Yahaba, bark how many fingers I’m holding up.” He presented two fingers.

“Woof, woof.”

Four.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof.”

One.

“Woof.”

He presented a closed fist. Yahaba didn’t take the bait and stayed silent.

“I still don’t believe you.” With that, he received an angry nip on the hand.

“Ow! Fine! You’re Yahaba!” The words that came out of his mouth finally took on their meaning, and he was nigh ready to panic. “Wait. You’re _Yahaba_?! Like _Shigeru_?! _You_?!”

Shigeru barked with a firm nod.

“How did you get like that?”

Shigeru raised both front paws in a shrug. “Woof,” he said cluelessly. If there was a bright side, this probably meant Shirabu wasn’t going to get murdered by other mer-canines anytime soon.

At last he sighed.

“Well, I can’t do anything until the party ends, so just stay in here and shut up until—”

Yahaba wasn’t going to suffer listening to his friends enjoy themselves, and without letting Shirabu finish, he splintered out the open door.

“Hey!” Kenjirou spun to give chase but slipped on a puddle left by Yahaba’s dripping tail and collided with the floor.

 

After finding the chips, Yuuji began snacking on them as he and Kenji returned to the front room, the latter relaying antics from Datekou’s team’s holiday preparations.

“So I told our libero to dress up as the main character of _Attack on Titan_ , because I swear he looks just like him! But then our first-year setter is like, ‘He can’t! He’s too short!’ So then I said, since he’s so short, he should be a pumpkin, and then our libero has the gall to _kick_ me in the shins, and—”

Futakuchi and Terushima stopped walking suddenly. Chikara’s and Keiji’s necks were craned skyward, listening to what they were positive were dog barks coming from upstairs, somewhere beyond the railing that overlooked the entryway. No one knew Kenjirou had a dog.

Then suddenly, small footsteps pattered quickly down the steps, and then a small animal curved around the bottom of the stairway into view of the four.

What they saw wasn’t what they ever imagined: a light-brown corgi dressed up as a mermaid.

“So _cuuuuute_!” Yuuji screeched, throwing the bag of chips on the floor and rushing to hug the animal. Shigeru was frightened at first but soon found himself in doggy heaven when Terushima began to rub every sweet spot of fur he had. When the others joined in, the merdog somehow ascended to an even higher level of serenity.

“ _Shigeru_!” came a screech from upstairs that made everyone stop. Kenjirou slammed into the upstairs railing, leaned over, and spotted everyone glaring back at him, the corgi merdog Yahaba on his back, practically dead from lingering bliss. Kenjirou’s face grew a full bright red as he realized what he’d just done.

It was Kenji who made a sound first when he spat. “You called your dog _Shigeru_?!”

“ _Oh my gosh_! I am _so_ texting Yahaba!” Yuuji chimed excitably and pulled out his phone.

“Man, he’s gonna flip,” Kenji teased. Shirabu slowly made his way downstairs, trying to act unfazed.

“Go ahead. Tell him. He won’t mind,” he asserted.

“You don’t know Yahaba, do you?” Kenji said, shaking his head.

“Well, I see now why you didn’t get dressed up,” Chikara began, drawing Shirabu’s curiosity. “You were busy making a costume for your dog!”

A sudden relief blew over Shirabu.

“Wow. That’s both adorable _and_ pathetic,” Kenji cheekily opined, earning a snarl from the host. Akaashi gently rubbed the partition line between the fur and the scales on Yahaba’s exposed belly.

“You sure did an amazing job. It almost feels real.” Shirabu’s unease quickly returned after Akaashi’s observation.

Then despite his enjoyment of all the attention, a stir in Yahaba’s bladder activated another instinct inside of him. He immediately rolled over and pattered farther into the house. Confused, the five followed and found the dog pawing on the glass patio door.

“What does that mean?” Kenjirou muttered.

“Dude, are you serious?!” Terushima exclaimed.

“Look! I’ve never had a dog before, OK?!”

Yuuji was ready to flip. “It means he wants a _walk_!”

Yahaba shook his head peevishly and resumed pawing. Akaashi blinked at the seemingly sentient gesture but dismissed it as his imagination.

“When did you walk him last?” Terushima continued.

“I, uh, I haven’t yet.”

“He may just want to go to the bathroom,” Akaashi offered, pretty certain it wasn’t as big a deal as the others were making it.

“You haven’t taken him for a walk yet?!” erupted Terushima, completely disregarding Akaashi in his outrage and unsettling Ennoshita with the outburst. “Give me his leash!”

“I don’t have one.”

“You don’t even have a leash?! What kind of a dog owner are you?!”

“What’s the animal equivalent of Child Services?” Futakuchi spoke up, pulling out his cell phone.

Terushima scooped up the merdog from in front of the patio door.

“Well, since _you_ can’t take care of him, _I’ll_ just have to.” Futakuchi then grabbed the furry end of Shigeru and began to tug.

“No, I want to take him.”

“No, I’m gonna walk him!” Yuuji yelped, tugging the tail end.

“I’ve had dogs my whole life, so I’m _experienced_.”

“Exactly! So you don’t need another one!”

“Give him to me!”

“No!”

Shigeru simply felt dizzy at this point and had no recollection of what was going on. It only became worse when Shirabu wrapped both arms around the merdog’s midsection and began to tug his way. Ennoshita was deathly petrified the dog might rip in three.

“No one’s walking this dog but _me_!” Kenjirou protested. Truthfully he was so concerned that nobody find out about Yahaba’s mutant existence that he could not let Shigeru go outside no matter what. He was surprised how tightly the others were gripping though and momentarily forgot the merdog wasn’t a mere pet.

“ _You’re not qualified_!” Yuuji slandered.

“Show me the adoption papers! I don’t believe he’s yours!” echoed Futakuchi.

It all seemed like it would end in catastrophe, when the tug-of-war ended with Chikara’s hysterical scream.

“Guys! Uh, _CORGIS HAVE FLUFFY BUTTS_!”

He was so desperate to stop the madness he had yelled out the first thing that had popped in his mind. Now with everyone’s gawks, he was blushing intensely.

“What the heck did you just say?” Futakuchi asked.

“I don’t know. I saw it on Discord,” he mumbled.

Shigeru took the chance to wriggle out of his three captors’ grips and returned to the patio door. Yuuji stared at the suffering animal, but keenly aware of Shirabu threatening to fight him some more, he yielded.

“Well, fine. If you’re going to raise this dog wrong, leave me out of it. Let’s turn on some music.”

“I’m down for tha—” Futakuchi began but was interrupted midsentence by a wave of nausea. Everyone in the room heard the violent grumbling that originated from Kenji’s abdomen. He clasped one hand on the wall, clutching his gut, gasping heavily. “Oh, dear. I…don’t think I should have eaten all those KitKats. B-Bathroom!”

“Uh, around the corner,” Shirabu nervously pointed; and before he even finished, Kenji stumbled past and slammed the door behind him. There was dead silence.

“Come to think of it, I need to use the bathroom too,” Chikara said. “Can I go upstairs?”

“Sure. End of the hall. Yuuji, I’ll show you how to use the stereo.”

They both headed to the front room while Keiji stared at the corgi now frantically scraping the glass with his claws, creating an ear-piercing screech that cut him to the heart.

“Uh, Kenjirou, do you mind if I open the patio door for a minute?” he coyly asked to avoid Shirabu’s irrational opposition to the dog going outdoors.

“Don’t you dare,” Kenjirou censured, wise to his friend’s scheme.

“OK!” Keiji declared, throwing up his palms as if to wash his hands of whatever might come next.

A few moments later, Chikara entered the upstairs bathroom and found it steaming like a sauna. The shower Kenjirou went to check on earlier was still running. When Chikara walked in, he spotted the condensation on the mirror and what almost looked like a message in the water vapor.

“I’m…Ya…ha—oh my gosh. The other guys _have_ to see this!” he grinned, taking a snapshot of the weird message with his phone. He stepped over to the toilet only for his foot to become soaking wet.

He spotted a puddle spreading from the foot of the overflowing bathtub.

 

As Yuuji fiddled with the stereo in the front room flanked by Kenjirou and Keiji, a voice echoed from above.

“Uh, Kenjirou! I think you should come up here!” Ennoshita bellowed anxiously.

“Ugh. What _now_?!” Shirabu sighed with exasperation before marching upstairs. Keiji and Yuuji exchanged looks and soon pursued out of curiosity.

 

* * *

 

Shirabu, Ennoshita, Terushima, and Akaashi spent the next hour remediating the flood in the upstairs bathroom. After using over a dozen towels and wringing one bucket full of water, at last Kenjirou lugged the sloshing container downstairs. When they entered the living room, Shigeru was asleep in a corner, calmly curled in a ball. Futakuchi was half-unconscious on a recliner, cradling his bloated gut. Terushima followed Shirabu with a host of white, black, and blue towels, which he tossed in the washing machine at once. He kept one to wipe the sweat off his face, pulling it back to find the white fabric stained with red and black face paint from his vampire alias, having melted in the steamy upstairs.

“Um, Kenjirou, one of them looks like it got stained,” he innocently announced, balling up the evidence.

“Who cares?” Kenjirou replied grumpily as he opened the patio door to throw the water out. “It’s just water. It’ll come clean.”

Yuuji tossed the towel into the machine, closed the lid, and started it before Kenjirou continued.

“Just don’t mix colors with the whites, or my mom’ll have a fit.”

He flinched at the mixed load and tried to unhook the lid that had already secured itself but didn’t know how. He silently told himself it’d be fine and sidled out of the laundry room.

Shirabu jettisoned the water in the garden, creating a miniature flood around the geraniums that Kenjirou, for his own sanity, decided to ignore. When he closed the glass door, however, his eyes beheld glazed scratch marks from where Yahaba had been clawing.

“You. _Stupid. Dog!_ ” he screeched and marched to where the animal slept. Yahaba sat up, giving Shirabu a dry glare. “You’re gonna pay for that!” His anger was abated when his foot stepped on something wet on the carpet, which he could only assume was water leaking through the ceiling from upstairs. “Ah, dang it! It flooded down here too! Yuuji, get the rag from the kitchen.”

Terushima grabbed a dishrag hanging from the stove handle and rushed over to blot the moist spot on the carpet. Ennoshita, meanwhile, looked in the direction of Shirabu’s upstairs bath and realized the new wet spot was on the opposite side of the house. Yuuji lifted the towel from the floor and found it had absorbed a yellow liquid.

“Uh, Kenjirou, this isn’t water.”

“Give me that,” Shirabu angrily groaned, snatching the towel and sniffing the stain. His nose was assaulted by a horrendous stench that he recognized immediately.

“You useless corgi _brat_!” he erupted again. “I’m gonna _kill_ you!”

Shigeru instantly jumped up barking.

“Woof woof woof!— _That’s what you get when you don’t open the dang door!_ —Woof woof woof woof!”

Before Kenjirou could swing a kick at the animal, Chikara grappled his leg, throwing them both to the floor. Yuuji chanted them on as they wrestled, Futakuchi sickly rolling on his side, hoping the commotion would end.

“Listen! There’s products for this!” Chikara yelled as he struggled to keep Shirabu down. “We can go to the store and get some, and it’ll be just fine! Now, just… _calm down_!”

Finally, Kenjirou’s rage began to cool. Shigeru merely gave him a snooty look and curled back into a circle.

“See? I told you he needed to use the bathroom!” Yuuji grumbled from the kitchen, replacing the soiled dishrag on the stove handle.

“You did not!” Shirabu exclaimed. “No one said anything!” Akaashi almost spoke up but decided it wasn’t worth it.

“But man, that was a jerk move,” Terushima continued when he rejoined the others. “I see why you named him Shigeru. He and Yahaba are _totally_ alike.” The comparison earned a frightening snarl from the merdog.

“Actually,” Chikara chimed, shooting up a finger and extricating his phone, “I just remembered. Come look at this. When I went in the bathroom, the mirror was fogged up, but it looked like it had a message.”

Shirabu jolted. Terushima squinted over Ennoshita’s shoulder at the image.

“I’m… _Ya…ha…ba_? Oh, dude! You’re right! It totally _does_ say that! Dude, send me that, so I can forward it to Shigeru.”

Kenjirou gulped. Thankfully no one seemed to be taking it seriously, but with Ennoshita having seen the original message, the thought crossed Shirabu’s mind he could use an ally. Of all the people here, Chikara was by far the most sensible and might be able to offer some advice.

“Uh, Chikara, could I talk to you in private?”

“Uh, sure,” he agreed after sending the picture to Yuuji. As Shirabu and Ennoshita headed for the stairs, Yuuji quickly dispatched the photo to Yahaba’s phone. He noticed there wasn’t even a “read” indicator on his earlier text message yet and pouted.

“Kenjirou, do you have a volleyball I can play with?”

“Don’t you dare play volleyball in my house!” Kenjirou recriminated.

“No! I’m just going to toss it up and down! I won’t break anything, I promise. Kenji’s the one you should worry about, and he’s out of commission.”

Hearing his name, Futakuchi sat up at last.

“Guys, I’m fine.” Instantly his abdomen replied loudly, and he threw a hand over his mouth—“Nope. No, I’m not.”—and dashed into the bathroom again.

“Turn on the fan when you’re in there!” Shirabu rebuked, only to be ignored after a pause.

“Anyway: _volleyball_?” Terushima repeated impatiently.

“In the garage on the shelf on the left.”

“Kay!”

Yuuji skipped off, and Kenjirou and Chikara proceeded upstairs, leaving Keiji alone with Shigeru. He knelt down in front of the dog and began to talk to it like a baby.

“Those siwwy people dink you Yahaba. You no Yahaba. If you Yahaba, bark how many fingas I hold up.”

He initially presented all fingers on both hands, but then began to wave them back and forth rapidly with a dopey smile. Shigeru glared back, horribly unamused at being treated like an idiot. He lunged, nicking two fingers on Keiji’s hand. Akaashi recoiled nervously. His eyes bulged as he stared at the animal that did actually bear a slight resemblance to the next setter of Seijoh. He rushed off to find a Band-Aid and then to locate Shirabu.

When Yuuji reentered the living room, volleyball in hand, he found it empty. Yahaba had lain down yet again but looked up once more upon Terushima’s appearance.

The boy was spinning a custom purple volleyball with a swan emblem between his fingers.

Suddenly a new instinct stirred inside Shigeru. This one wasn’t canine in nature; it was peculiarly human, some unconscious vestige of his former existence. The sight of the ball made him thirst for a certain sport to the point his pupils grew and his tongue hung out like he was thirsty. Yuuji spotted the eager attention from the animal.

“You wanna play?” he smirked.

 

* * *

 

A short while later, hysterical laughter emanated from the other side of Kenjirou’s closed bedroom door.

“You promised not to laugh!” Shirabu reprimanded.

“That was before I knew you were going to say something so stupid!” Ennoshita giggled. “You _actually believe_ that dog is Yahaba?”

“He turned on the shower and wrote that message in the condensation!”

“Really?” Chikara asked skeptically. “Cos earlier you said _you_ left the shower running.”

To the surprise of both, the door suddenly flew open, revealing Akaashi in its wake.

“I believe you,” he stated flatly.

“Were you eavesdropping?!” Kenjirou fumed.

“You didn’t invite me in,” Keiji shrugged in explanation.

“Wait!” Chikara interjected. “You _believe_ this guy?”

“Yes,” Keiji nodded. He presented the bandages on two of his fingers. “I was teasing Shigeru and he bit me. That’s definitely a Yahaba move.”

“See?!” Shirabu declared.

“OK, give me _one_ —no, _three_ reasons why that dog is Yahaba,” challenged Chikara.

“He has a bad attitude, he thinks he’s better than everyone else, and he won’t put up with BS,” Shirabu answered brusquely. There was a brief pause.

“Dang it. It is Yahaba,” Chikara whispered, shocked by his own statement.

“So, what now?” asked Keiji.

“I don’t know,” Shirabu sighed. “Right now I’m just wondering how we convince Yuuji and Kenji.”

Instantly a deafening, excited yell originated from Yuuji downstairs: “Guys!!! Get down here and see this!!!”

 

The trio raced into the kitchen, expecting to find the house on fire but instead finding only Yuuji and Shigeru at one end of the kitchen and a revitalized Kenji holding a volleyball at the opposite end. Kenjirou peeked in the bathroom and instantly saw purple stains on the white porcelain sink—evidently runoff from Kenji’s makeup. He would have exploded right then and there, but the stench that filled the bathroom and seeped into the adjacent space was so strong Kenjirou shut the door firmly.

“Kenji! You turned my bathroom into a hazmat zone!”

“And I feel better than ever!” he cried. “But forget that. Watch this! This dog can play volleyball!”

The trio flinched as Kenji readied to serve the ball.

“Please, not in the kitchen!” appealed Shirabu suddenly. Ignoring, Kenji smacked the ball right at the corgi Shigeru. To everyone’s shock, using his tail as a springboard, Shigeru leapt up, tapped the ball with his nose, and thereby set it to Terushima. Yuuji spiked it back at Kenji who proceeded to hit it back over.

This next time Shigeru remained on the ground but set the ball with his tailfins. Yuuji spiked it back, and Kenji caught the volley.

“Did you see that?!” Futakuchi glimmered. The three spectators gawked, any lingering doubts about the corgi merdog’s identity now completely suppressed. “Awesome, huh? Let’s do it one more!”

“I said not in the kitchen!” Shirabu beseeched again. Futakuchi didn’t listen and spiked the ball forward.

Unfortunately right away it was obvious he’d hit it with too much force. Yuuji and Shigeru both recognized it too, and each turned their attention toward a vase filled with blooming fall flowers on the counter behind them. Terushima pointed his hands at the vase as Shigeru’s nose aimed directly at it, yelling simultaneously:

“ _Out!_ ”

“ _Woof!_ ”

In the next moment, the porcelain vase shattered into pieces as the ball struck it.

“That’s my mom’s favorite vase!” screamed Kenjirou hysterically. Completely disregarding Kenjirou’s devastated cleanup efforts, Terushima snickered.

“How do you teach a dog to _do_ that?”

“Because that dog is Yahaba,” Keiji stated plainly. Chikara gawped at him. Both Yuuji and Shigeru jolted, the latter because evidently his secret was known to not just Shirabu. Kenjirou tuned out the conversation, currently wiping up the water from the vase with the urine-stained dishrag. (He thought the towel smelled funny but disregarded it.)

Terushima gaped and knelt before the mer-pooch.

“Are you Yahaba?” he asked him bluntly.

“Woof,” answered Shigeru with a nod.

“Whoa. Guys, did you see that?! It _is_ Yahaba!”

Chikara and Keiji stared, in utter disbelief that was all the convincing it took.

As Kenjirou poured the vase shards from a dustpan into the trash, muttering some obscenities under his breath, Futakuchi burst out laughing.

“I can’t _believe_ you all! You idiots think this dog is Yahaba?! You’ve all gone _insane_! Bwahahahahaha—” His laughter abruptly ended when his foot became moist. He peered down to see Shigeru relieving himself on his foot and then sauntering away priggishly. “Ewwwwwwwwwww!”

As Futakuchi wrestled his soiled sock off, Keiji, Chikara, and Yuuji stared.

“That’s Yahaba,” they glumly stated in unison.

 

* * *

 

15 minutes later, the five captains, Futakuchi wearing one sock, found themselves seated around a card table in the front room, pondering what to do about the situation with their friend. Rather exhausted, Shigeru was resting nearby.

“So we need to figure out a way to turn Shigeru back to normal,” Keiji sighed.

“If that really _is_ Cream Puff,” Futakuchi muttered, earning a snarling retort from Shigeru that cowed Kenji into submission.

“And you’re sure there’s no clue of how he became like that?” Chikara asked Shirabu.

“I told you. I found him on the beach like that. Shigeru,” he called to the animal, “you’re _sure_ you don’t know how you turned into that thing?”

Yahaba shook his head. It was approaching 6pm, and there was no progress. Everyone exhaled.

“Dang it,” Shirabu rubbed his aching forehead. “And the trick-or-treaters are going to be here soon, so we’re probably going to get interrupted.”

“Oh, but trick-or-treaters are the _best part_!” Terushima declared, forgetting the more pressing matter. Every year he always kept a tally of the costumes he saw, and he was excited to see how Kenjirou’s neighborhood compared to his own.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Kenjirou grabbed the sparse bowl of candy he had and hopped up.

“I know how to get rid of them. Hold on a sec.”

Yuuji quickly gave chase. “Don’t get rid of them! I wanna see the costumes!”

Shirabu answered the door to find two young siblings, not from the neighborhood he didn’t think: a 7-year-old boy dressed as a cheesy-looking vampire and a 6-year-old girl with blue-dyed hair wearing what looked like a cycling uniform.

“Trick-or-treat!”

Kenjirou reflexively poured half the candy bowl in one bag, and the other half in the other.

“Here. Get lost.”

Yuuji instantly interjected.

“ _Rude_!” He turned his attention to the two adorable kids, his heart filling with joy. “Oh my goodness, aren’t you adorable?! We’ve got a cyclist….”

“I’m Doubashi from _Yowapeda_ ,” the young girl squeaked.

“I _love_ _Yowapeda_!” Yuuji cried. “Kenji! Add that to the tally sheet!” He then turned his attention to the vampire. “And you’re adorable too. What a cute, little vampire!”

The boy cheerily hissed, revealing false fangs, which set Terushima’s heart aflame.

As he fawned over the boy’s costume, the girl peered into the house and spotted the corgi merdog in the front room.

“Hey, look. It’s Shigeru,” she pointed.

Yahaba sat up at the mention of his name. Yuuji, Kenjirou, and the girl’s brother all looked at the dog too.

“Hey, you’re right!” the boy proclaimed.

Shigeru slowly came to the door until he was beside Kenjirou, trying to place exactly where he had seen these two children before. Soon Keiji, Chikara, and Kenji were in the entryway as well.

“You know this dog?” Kenjirou asked.

“Yeah,” the girl nodded. “Shigeru’s mom and our grandma are friends.”

“Who’s your grandma?”

The girl pointed at the house immediately next-door before continuing: “Shigeru came by yesterday to give Grandma a gift from his mom.”

Her brother interrupted: “But Shigeru called Grandma a witch, so she cast a spell on him to turn him into a merdog.”

“So you’re saying your grandma _is_ a witch,” Yuuji clarified bluntly, then getting sharply elbowed in the kidney by Akaashi.

“But Shigeru just laughed at her and left though,” the girl continued.

“But Grandma said the spell takes 12 hours to activate,” the boy completed, “so Shigeru should have stayed at Grandma’s house so we could play with him!”

“See?!” Shirabu bellowed at the merdog. “This is what you get for being rude!”

“You should talk,” slighted Futakuchi.

“So, um,” Chikara spoke up, “how do you turn him back to normal?”

The young vampire crossed his arms staunchly.

“Never! He can never go back to normal never ever. He’s gonna be a merdog the rest of his life.”

“That’s not true!” the girl interjected firmly. “Grandma said he’ll turn back to normal when he experiences true love.”

“Of course that’s what it would be,” Akaashi muttered, rolling his eyes.

“We should go to the next house before they run out of candy,” the boy piped suddenly.

“Right!” answered the girl. “Bye, Shigeru!”

“Come play with us sometime!”

The siblings waved goodbye and proceeded down the driveway.

There was absolute silence in the doorway, Shigeru and Kenjirou the most taken aback by what had just transpired.

“Well, guess that settles it,” Futakuchi said to the dog. “You’re stuck a dog-mermaid-whatever forever.”

“Woof?” Yahaba moaned. Yuuji chuckled nervously.

“I hate to admit it, but no one’s going to fall in love with a merman-corgi. So…I guess that means you’re stuck living with Shirabu.”

Shigeru and Kenjirou simultaneously flinched and faced one another.

And suddenly, the thought of the rest of their lives together, one of them a corgi merdog, was the most egregious thing that could ever cross either of their imaginations.

Yahaba had to do something to save himself. But what? If “true love” was out of his reach, then he had to force the old witch to undo the spell somehow!

To start with, overcome with zealous rage, he’d make the witch’s grandkids take him to her.

And so Shigeru darted out the door madly.

“Shigeru!” Kenjirou yelled and took off in pursuit.

In short order, the two children realized they were being chased by an angry mer-hound. They dropped their candy baskets and ran into the street screaming at the top of their lungs. Yahaba gave chase as well.

Then a delivery truck’s horn wailed as Shigeru found himself in the headlights of the oncoming vehicle. He froze in place.

“Shigeruuuuuuuuu!”

At the last possible second, Kenjirou dived in front of the vehicle, scooped up the animal, and somersaulted out of the way of the swerving truck. He rolled over repeatedly until colliding with the curb. His head ached, but he was fine. Then he examined the dog in his arms.

Shigeru felt limp. His eyes were closed, and his tongue drooped languidly from his mouth.

“Shigeru? … Shigeru? … Please! _Please_ , wake up! Shigeru, _please_!” Tears he didn’t expect formed in his eyes, and he wailed. He pressed his face into the fur of Yahaba’s chest, the hair absorbing the salty moisture escaping his eyes. The others rushed onto the lawn and into the street, each freezing once they comprehended the magnitude of what had just occurred.

And then for a moment, Shigeru’s eyes squinted open. And after visually confirming Kenjirou was in the throes of grief, he quickly resumed playing dead.

“Shigeru. No. You can’t die. I mean it! I don’t care that you’re a jerk, or that you’re not potty-trained, or that you destroy everything— _you’re the best corgi mer-dog-man-maid anyone could ever haaaaave_!” Anything else he wanted to grovel was clouded out by sheer, unrestrained crying.

Then, something happened.

A soft yellow glow consumed the corgi mermaid’s body. Shirabu lifted his head and observed the luminescent aura that grew brighter and brighter until it started to morph shape in Shirabu’s arms.

And at last, it took on the shape of a human being. The glow faded, revealing:

Shigeru Yahaba.

“What just happened?” Futakuchi asked, gawping. Chikara beside him was breaking into an uncontrollable stream of tears.

“Oh my gosh. Saved by the _true love_ of a man and his dog.”

Shigeru glared irksomely at the flabbergasted Kenjirou.

“You’re squeezing me too tight,” he griped, prompting Shirabu to release him. Then the two became aware of snickering, coming from Yuuji.

“Hey, Shigeru! Nice Invisible Man costume! You’re braver than I am!”

It took a moment for the two to figure out Yuuji’s meaning until Shigeru looked down and then frantically covered his crotch.

“Gross,” grunted Shirabu looking away primly. “Put some clothes on.”

“Shut up!”

Suddenly a thought crossed Kenjirou’s mind. “Wait. So…you _weren’t_ dead?”

Yahaba gaped. To be honest, he sadistically enjoyed watching Shirabu act like a deluded fool. He actually didn’t expect the outcome to turn out like it did and blushed.

He now expected Kenjirou to erupt in outrage.

But instead, the boy sighed.

“Well, whatever. I guess…I’m glad you’re back to normal,” he shyly admitted.

“And, uh, I guess…thanks,” Yahaba replied, equally reluctantly.

Akaashi had already gone inside to find some clothes for Yahaba, and in the meantime Kenjirou assisted the other boy to his feet.

“Now let’s clean up the _mess_ you made before my parents get home.”

 

* * *

 

With the main crisis resolved, everyone got to work fixing the messes around the house. While Keiji scrubbed makeup off the downstairs bathroom sink and countertop and got a new shower curtain for the upstairs lavatory, Yuuji was made to buy new white towels (after they opened the washing machine to find they had all been dyed), Kenji grumpily purchased a custom lookalike vase for the kitchen counter, Chikara picked up stain and odor remover for the urine spots, Kenjirou planted a new geranium patch in the backyard after the previous one wilted from its dousing with bathwater, and Shigeru’s dad—who was in remodeling—fixed up the water-damaged upstairs bathroom and installed a new glass patio door.

Yahaba’s parents then dragged their son and his friend Kenjirou next-door to apologize to Shirabu’s neighbor for, allegedly, sending a dog after her grandchildren on Halloween night. The two boys were afraid as Mrs. Yahaba carried on a sweet and cordial conversation with the older woman, much unlike their personal interactions with the “witch.” When Mrs. Yahaba wasn’t looking, the woman shot a spiteful glance at the two teens.

When all was said and done, Mr. and Mrs. Yahaba left the house first, and the old woman spoke before the boys stepped out. They flinched simultaneously.

“Don’t look so frightened, Shigeru. Lucky for you, I think you’ve been punished enough,” she simpered, wringing her hands. Yahaba let out a trembling sigh of relief. “But Kenjirou,” the woman continued, “I promise _you_ will be rewarded in due time.” She waved coyly. Shigeru blew a raspberry at Kenjirou, and the latter boy then chased him down the street.

 

A few days after Halloween, with all the cleanup work at last done, Kenjirou rested for the first time since the disastrous eve. Everyone was gone, he was home alone, and his parents would arrive any minute.

“Stupid hag,” he muttered. “Give me your worst.”

He heard the front door unlock and snapped to attention. Coming to greet his parents, he was instantly shocked at what was in their arms:

A light brown corgi pup.

It was actually the _last_ thing Kenjirou wanted to see right now.

“Uh, what is that?” he stammered.

“Well, your father and I got to talking during our trip, and we decided you’re finally responsible enough to have a dog of your own.”

“Yes. He already came with a name from the pet store too: Shigeru!”

The puppy huffed eagerly, tongue jovially hanging out, tail wagging joyously in Mr. Shirabu’s arms. Kenjirou was beyond creeped out. At first, the witch’s ominous words came to mind, but he dismissed the threat when the adorableness of the fluff ball—serendipitously without a mermaid tail—began to consume his attention.

A corgi. Light brown. Named Shigeru. Shirabu wanted to laugh mockingly inside. _Yeah, I see what you did there, you witch. Ha-ha. Very funny._

But enough about her, he decided, as the soft skin of the animal beckoned him to touch it. Kenjirou gradually approached the happy hound.

“Hey there, boy,” he cheerily said, stretching one hand to pet his head.

Suddenly the corgi looked at Kenjirou, and its demeanor instantly changed. No longer was it filled with boundless joy, but instead its caustic eyes stared judgmentally at the teen, warning him to back off.

But the eyes said even more than that:

“You better do as I say, human.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween everyone. ;)


End file.
